


a letter to isak

by tacitula



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sappy, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacitula/pseuds/tacitula
Summary: Even is going on a trip for a week and leaves Isak a letter.Or: Even loves Isak a whole lot and is a massive sap.





	a letter to isak

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is my first fic in this fandom AND the first thing I've written after a 5-year writer's block, but I felt inspired to start writing again (thanks to [Elly](https://twitter.com/EllOnEarth) <3), so here you go :).
> 
> A massive thank you to [lavish_squalor](https://twitter.com/lavish_squalor) for beta'ing and helping me loads, ily<333.

It was such a lovely spring day. There were birds chirping, the sun was out, and everything was budding, pink and white and yellow everywhere. It was a silent morning; people were already at work or at school and the street was basically empty. Except for one blue car, in which Even’s parents were waiting. However, Isak was basically holding Even hostage, not ready to let him go.

 

Not yet, at least.

 

Even was supposed to go on a trip with his parents. It would only be for a week, but Isak was scared of letting him go.

 

Even hadn’t seen his parents a whole lot the past few weeks (he was having a hard time getting himself to leave their new apartment to visit them), so Isak completely understood he had to let Even go for a little while, to let him spend some time with his parents.

 

They were standing on the doorstep of their new apartment, clinging onto each other. Isak felt a little uncomfortable, as Even’s parents were literally a few meters away. He wanted to slap himself mentally, feeling quite ridiculous. They had been together for half a year and Even’s parents had seen them kissing and cuddling a whole lot of times. Still, it felt a bit awkward. Isak didn’t want to show his discomfort, though. He desperately needed the hugs and kisses and didn’t want Even to pull away just because he felt Isak might not want the attention. So Isak tried to ignore the parents and the car all together and revelled in Even’s touch.

 

His hands were resting against Even’s chest, whose arms were wrapped around Isak’s narrow frame. Soft kisses were pressed into his curly blond hair and Even murmured sweet nothings in his ear.

 

Isak slowly pulled back, not wanting to break the moment, and looked Even straight in the eyes, his blue, ocean-like eyes, in which he could probably drown if he wanted to. _I love you so fucking much_. Isak couldn’t manage to get it out, though, afraid of choking up. He was such a drama queen sometimes, such a fucking sap.

 

Even’s gaze intensified and Isak felt overwhelmed, trying his hardest to not look away. A shade of pink was creeping up his cheeks, and Isak didn’t know whether he should keep staring or cast his gaze down. Even took Isak’s hands and intertwined their fingers, a small smirk playing on his lips. ‘’I love it when you get all shy and blushy,’’ he whispered, while his thumb started stroking the top of Isak’s hand.

 

Isak had to break eye contact and decided to stare at their joined hands, Even’s just slightly bigger than his, fitting perfectly. A warm feeling was spreading all across his body and he felt a whole bunch of butterflies in the pit of his stomach. Fuck, he never thought he could love someone so incredibly much.  This was all so new, still, and Isak didn’t really know what to do with all the feelings that were running through his teenage body. He never actually liked someone before Even, so he had never experienced this intense warmth before.

 

Even must have noticed the way Isak had zoned out for a bit, as he let his hands go and cupped his rosy cheeks instead. A soothing thumb caressed Isak’s cheek and he leaned into the touch. He shyly looked up and Even looked at him expectantly. ‘’I’ll be back before you know it, baby.’’

 

‘’How am I going to be able to sleep without you, though?’’ Isak huffed, trying not to sound too insecure.

 

Even pressed their foreheads together, and searched Isak’s expression. ‘’We live in 2017, Isak. We have phones, you know.’’ A quiet laugh escaped his beautiful, full lips.

 

Isak smiled and leaned in to peck Even on his nose. ‘’I know, I know. I’m sorry, I’ll be fine.’’

 

Unfortunately, their little moment was rudely interrupted. ‘’Even, come on! We don’t want to miss our boat!’’

 

‘’I really have to get going, baby. Don’t want to make them mad,’’ Even whispered in Isak’s ear.

 

Fingers were drawing circles on his jaw and Isak felt a bit helpless. Not really knowing what to say, he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. Why was saying goodbye so incredibly hard? Why wasn’t there a guide out there explaining how to properly say _goodbye_ and _please don’t leave me_ and _I love you so much, I don’t know what to do with myself_?

 

Even shouted, ‘’I’m coming, dad! Just give me a second!’’ and snapped Isak out of his thoughts.

 

He wrapped his slender arms around Even’s waist and hid his face in the crook of his neck, planting a few kisses on his shoulder. He took in Even’s scent and god, he was so lucky he got to have this, so lucky they made it through all the shit and made it here, _together_. Even ruffled his hair before hugging him back.

 

‘’You’re so clingy sometimes, who would’ve thought,’’ Even teased, but he continued to squeeze the air out of Isak. ‘’I really have to go now, though.’’

 

Isak just breathed him in and decided to grab the back of Even’s neck. He smashed his lips on Even’s soft, pink, slightly cracked ones. (It wasn’t _just_ a kiss; it was passionate and full of the feelings Isak was struggling to communicate.)  
He let his tongue slide over Even’s bottom lip and lightly grazed his teeth over it. Even’s hands were suddenly in his hair, pulling slightly, and Isak couldn’t hold back a soft moan. Even smirked, knowing what effect he had on his boyfriend.

 

Isak couldn’t breathe, kept kissing, still couldn’t breathe, completely forgot how to breathe. He shivered under Even’s touch, Even’s lips, Even’s tongue. It was so much to take in, there were so many feelings. Even sucked on Isak’s lip, his tongue hot and wet in his mouth, and Isak would probably never get over the softness of Even’s lips, the warmth of Even’s mouth on his own, the wet slide of his tongue.

 

Isak grabbed Even’s neck tighter, slid his other hand down to his bum and pulled him closer (if that was even _possible_ ). They were full out making out now, both breathing heavily, all hot and turned on, and Isak couldn’t get enough. He couldn’t bear with the fact that he would be missing out on this for a whole _week_.

 

Eventually, Even pulled back, hands still in Isak’s hair. He rested his forehead against Isak’s and looked him in the eyes. His eyes were glazed over, pupils blown, indicating that he wouldn’t mind ripping Isak’s clothes off just there and then.

 

‘’I love you, baby,’’ Even whispered as he pecked Isak’s lips, his thumb tracing his cupid’s bow. Isak pulled him in again and pressed his swollen lips firmly against Even’s. ‘’I love you, too,’’ he murmured softly.

 

Even took Isak’s hands in his and started pecking him on his forehead, his nose, and both cheeks, before making his way back to his lips. ‘’We will text and call, okay? Just… text whenever, alright?’’

 

Isak nodded, a small grin on his lips. Even always got a bit overprotective and could go on and on rambling about the fact that Isak should text him all his feelings and worries, so Even could make sure he would be okay. It was the cutest thing, to be honest. Isak loved Even’s protectiveness, and that maybe Isak wasn’t the only drama queen in this relationship.

 

‘’Just let me know if you can’t sleep, okay?’’ Even kept rambling. ‘’I might be able to help.’’ He smirked and Isak knew _exactly_ what Even was talking about. A giggle escaped his mouth, a more intense blush creeping up his still slightly rosy cheeks.

 

‘’Same goes for you. You know that, right?’’ He poked a finger in Even’s ribcage, grinning.  
Even sighed into the touch, nodding. His eyes flickered between Isak’s lips and eyes, as if asking for permission, and Isak silently agreed by leaning in. The kiss was soft, sweet, longing, nothing like it had been just minutes ago, but still full of all their love.

 

Even pulled away slowly, a content smile on his lips. ‘’I really have to leave now, yeah?’’ His thumb stroked Isak’s cheek before he completely let him go.

 

He was just about to start walking to his parents’ car, when Isak’s voice made him turn around in surprise. ‘’Can I please, please have your hoodie?’’

 

Without a second thought, Even threw the piece of fabric over his head and held it out for Isak to grab. He smiled gratefully, but his eyes were cast to the ground, all shy and nervous. ‘’Your scent just helps me fall asleep.’’ It came out as a whisper, but he was sure Even heard him. It felt quite embarrassing, asking for a piece of clothing so he could sleep at night, but he hadn’t been able to keep his mouth shut. And he was allowed to ask for things, right?

 

‘’No problem, I love you. See you next week, baby,’’ Even said, confirming he had indeed heard Isak’s quiet whisper, while starting to walk backwards toward the car.

 

Isak’s strained voice mumbled something back about loving him and missing him. He wasn’t sure if he could keep the tears in, felt them prickling behind his eyes. But Isak didn’t want to be a baby and cry because his boyfriend was leaving. It was just a week, and he was almost an adult. He should be able to keep his shit together. He had to keep his shit together.

 

Even opened the car door, waved dramatically, and let himself fall into the backseat. He made a kissy face towards Isak, and Isak couldn’t hold back a little laugh. He waved back awkwardly until the car sped up and was out of sight, leaving the street even emptier than before.

 

Isak took the stairs to his (no, _their_ ) apartment and let himself collapse on the couch as soon as he got in. It felt empty, not having his man around, and Isak was seriously considering asking Eskild if he could stay at theirs for a little while. Just to make sure he wasn’t moping around all week, to make sure he wouldn’t be drowning in his own thoughts, overthinking his whole life. Overthinking had always been one of Isak’s main activities. Not that he _liked_ it, but sometimes he just couldn’t stop his thoughts from running and running, going on and on in circles.  

 

He was about to grab his phone out of his pocket to give Eskild a call, when he felt a piece of paper next to it. Curiously, Isak took it in his hands. A huge grin formed as soon as he saw what it was and whom it was from. Even had written him a letter, in his dorky and messy handwriting, and apparently he’d gotten the chance to slip it in Isak’s pocket earlier today.

He opened it with shaking hands and began to read.

 

~~\---------------------------------~~

_Dear Isak,_

_Since you’ve probably figured out I’m sappy as fuck, I’m going to prove to you I’m the king of being cheesy. Because I can. And because you secretly love it ;-)_

_  
That being said, I know you might be feeling lonely this upcoming week, and even though I hope you won’t feel too alone and will find something to do, I just wanted to write you a letter. Like, a real letter, a physical letter you can hold and cry on, until the paper becomes all crinkly and messy. (You’re probably going to keep this with you all week and cuddle with it until you fall asleep, but I shouldn’t make any assumptions, should I?)_

_I really wanted to give you this letter, not only because you’ll be able to stare at my horrible handwriting (no, it’s not cute), but mainly so you’ll have something to read over and over again whenever you’re feeling lonely or sad or just shit. I never want you to feel bad about yourself, about me, about your family, and that’s mainly why I tried pouring my heart into writing this._

_I just love you so much and I want you to feel it, but I sometimes have a hard time expressing my feelings in words. I really hope you do know how much I love you, though, but I’m going to tell you over and over again, just in case, you know._

_Seriously, there are so many reasons why I love you, baby. And you know what? I am going to explain some of them to you._

_I love how smart you are, how you’re so eager to learn new things and love sharing this new knowledge with me. I love how passionate you are about the subjects you like, how your eyes start glowing when you try to explain these biological pathways to me._

 

 _I love how you don’t complain when I suggest watching_ that _film again. You just accept the fact I’m a movie nerd, even though you get a bit bored after having watched it three times already. I love how you fall asleep on my lap sometimes, your face all scrunched up, and I love the quiet sounds you make when I caress your cheek or rub your back while you’re asleep._

 

_I love how you’re so incredibly ticklish and not strong enough to escape from my arms, so I can I tackle you to the floor and just tickle you until you’re crying of laughter. I love that laugh of yours, it brightens my day._

 

_I love the way your cheeks turn slightly pink whenever you feel embarrassed (and whenever you’re turned on). I love how shy you are, how there’s this confident man inside you hidden behind these walls you’ve built, and I can’t wait to help you get over them._

 

_I love how you sometimes sing along to these poppy songs (even though you told me you hate them) while you’re ‘cooking’ dinner for the two of us. I love your voice mumbling the lines of a sappy love song, all soft and loving. Do you think about me when listening to those songs?_

 

_It’s the cutest thing when you think I’m not looking at you and you’re just staring at me in awe or something, a smile on your lips. I love the look in your eyes in those moments, full of joy and love and wonder. Your eyes tell so many stories without you even realising, they are just beautiful._

 

_I love how you’re there for me when I’m having a bad day, how you try to cheer me up. You hold me when I’m sad, you kiss my tears away and stay by my side even if I’m trying to push you away. I love how you sometimes pull me on your chest, press kisses in my hair and draw figures on my back with your fingers, while I listen to your steady heartbeat. It’s soothing, it’s calming._

 

_I love our nights together, the way you cuddle up against me and let me stroke your hair until you fall asleep. Did I already tell you that I love your hair? The curls, the fluffiness, and how you come undone when I get my hands in it._

 

_I love how you shiver when I whisper dirty things in your ear. You probably think I don’t notice, but trust me, I can feel the shiver going up your spine when I tell you how bad I want you, how good you are for me._

 

_I love how you completely lose yourself when we have sex, how you get so desperate for me, for everything, and I love how your shyness evaporates. You’re so fucking hot, baby._

 

 _I love your lips, especially that perfect cupid’s bow of yours. I love kissing those gorgeous lips. I love kissing_ you, _Isak._

 _I love kissing your cheeks,_  
_your nose,  
_ _your forehead._

 _I love kissing your neck,_  
_your collarbones (I know it’s your weak spot),_  
_and your shoulders._

 _I love kissing your stomach,_  
_your back,  
_ _and your hipbones (it drives you wild)._

_I love our goodmorning kisses, our goodnight kisses. I love our quick, soft kisses and our long, hot, passionate kisses. I love your lips on mine, your lips on my body, soft and warm._

 

_You’ve probably realised by now I really love (kissing) you, but I also love that that feeling is mutual._

_You’re so beautiful, baby. Do you know how I see you? Do you know how other people see you? Because fuck, you are absolutely gorgeous, and I want to give you all the love in the world._

_You are so special to me, and I’m so lucky I got to meet you after staring at you from across the schoolyard a thousand times. I’m so lucky I get to call you mine, and I know I’m being super sappy, but I’m not apologising as I promised to be the king of cheesy. So I guess you’ll have to deal with it, baby. (I can see you rolling your eyes, telling me not to call you ‘baby’ all the time, but let me tell you. You_ love _it, you’re just not ready to admit it. And that’s okay… baby.)_

_I hope you put this letter under your pillow when you go to sleep tonight, so my words can crawl into your brain and you’ll never question my love for you ever again._

_You mean the absolute world to me and I don’t ever want to lose you. You’re going to be mine forever, okay?_

_Love,_

_Even_

_~~\---------------------------------~~  _

 

Isak sniffled, green eyes wet and long eyelashes stuck together. A tear rolled down his cheek and dropped onto the piece of paper in his hand. He tried drying his eyes with the back of his hand, while a smile played on his lips.

 

Isak wasn’t crying because he was upset, absolutely not. He was crying because of how happy he was, just drowning in Even’s love for him.

 

Isak _knew_ Even loved him, but he sometimes struggled to believe someone could actually love him _that much_. However, seeing it written down like that… It made him feel things he couldn’t describe properly. His whole body felt warm, his mind was racing, his hands were trembling.

 

He loved Even so fucking much.

 

Even had saved him, saved him from being someone he didn’t want to be. Even had finally made him believe that he did deserve love and touch and warmth. In just a short amount of time, Even had become Isak’s everything.

 

And now he was gone for the week. Isak knew it was good to be apart sometimes, that it was good to learn to not be one hundred percent dependent on each other, but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to it. He dreaded it. He knew he would be feeling so alone, he would be feeling miserable at night, but it didn’t matter. Because Isak loved Even and he would never leave him, and he knew Even felt the exact same way.

 

Isak hugged the letter close to his chest, knowing Even was right about him cuddling with it until he would fall asleep at night. He wasn’t even ashamed to admit it.

 

He would call Eskild tomorrow, maybe. Isak didn’t want to ruin this moment. The comfort he felt right now was everything, the love he felt was all consuming. He snuggled into Even’s hoodie that still smelled so overwhelmingly like him (which absolutely did _not_ make his stomach flip), and closed his eyes.  

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/protect_isak) or in the comments here :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed <3


End file.
